Chinese New Year - The Year of the Ox

Chinese New Year or the Lunar New Year is one of the most important Chinese holidays. The holiday begins on the first day of the Lunar month on the Chinese calendar and lasts for 15 days. This year ,the year of the Ox, celebrations will start on January 26 and end on February 9.

The myth behind Chinese New Year is based on the mythical beast called the Nian. The Nian would devour the crops, children and livestock on the first day of each year. The villagers would put food in front of their doors which would protect them as Nian would eat the food instead of their crops, children etc... Myth has it that Nian was scared away by the color red, hence the use of red lanterns, scrolls and clothing in the color red during this period. All over Singapore red lanterns hand from doors of homes and shops. Lion and Dragon dances are held to scare away the bad or evil spirits and bring good luck. The dances are quite magnificent having large colorful lion heads with embroidered cloth and housed by acrobatic men making the lion dance.

Leading up to the days of the celebrations is a time of thorough cleaning, sweeping away of the bad luck. People buy new clothing, shoes, new hair cuts - symbolizing a fresh start in the New Year. The first day is a time when families come together to honor family - past and present. Each day holds particular meaning as to who it to be visited and pay homage to.

Mandarin oranges are popular during this period as they represent gold. Colorful Mandarin trees of all sizes are seen throughout the country in front of homes, hotels, etc... I participated in a Yushengs which is the tossing of the salad. The higher you toss the salad which is made of many different vegetables and fish, the greater luck and prosperity you will have that year. Another tradition is the Red Envelopes or hong bao are passed out during this period. They almost always contain money but always in even numbers with the exception of the number 4. 4 is considered bad luck because it is a homophone for death, whereas 8 is considered good luck as it is a homophone for wealth. Decorations with Chinese characters are hung on the doors and Allison pointed out to me that one must be turned upside down. This allows the good luck to come in to the home.

We were treated by our friends, Tony and Rebecca to a wonderful Chinese New Year meal. Tony and Rebecca were both born in China and have since immigrated to the US but moved over to Singapore with Abbott around the same time we did. Rebecca told us that Chinese New Year is more celebrated in Singapore than it is in China. That is because during the late 1970's China had their cultural revolution which basically stripped any cultural out of China. It was time when everyone was to be made equal and religion ceased to exist in the eyes of the government. Rebecca now is reminded of the traditions of Chinese New Year living in Singapore. They took us,with another family, Irene, John and Luca, to a Chinese restaurant and ordered food, including a yusheng salad and we tossed in the good luck for the coming year. It really was a great way for us all to celebrate our new found friendships here in Singapore.

We experienced our first Lion Dance which was truly amazing. Two men perform many acrobatic moves and manipulate the lion, it is beautiful and quite an athletic feat. One man is in the back of the lion controlling his hind legs and lifting at times his partner. The man in the front controls the head and the front feet. It is awesome how real the character becomes.

The girls fully embraced the traditions of Chinese New Year and were sure to wear Red clothes on the first night so they wouldn't be devoured by the Nian. They were mesmerized by the lion and dragon dances and enjoyed a crowded but fun trip to China Town. Overall the holiday is one that very much encompasses family and tradition.

We had a great Chinese New Year this year and hope for a great 2009, the year of the Ox. Which by the way according to the Chinese zodiac, Allison is an Ox!

Home for the Holidays

We just got back from a three week vacation at "home" , the US. It was great to be back in the United States and spend time with family and friends. Here is a recap...

* Fortunately we got upgraded to business class in both directions. It was huge relief especially because Kristin told me " Mom, you know I can't sleep in economy!"

*You forget how long a 18 hour flight is and that jet lag really does exist!

* Greeted at O'Hare with 16 degree weather - that is cold for us who have not seen a cooler temp than 85 and live on the equator!

* Our luggage made it from Singapore to O'hare but not from O'Hare to Newark - what does that tell you?

* Saw our dog, Jenkins who was happy to see us and us to see him. He wouldn't leave the kids room our last night at my parents.

* Finally got to meet Claudia, Brian and Lisa's daughter who they adopted from China in July. She is amazing and full of life and energy. Colton was great as always and the girls had a wonderful time seeing him!

* Had many Christmas parties and got to see the Rubensteins and hear about Jamie's plans for college next year, and visit with the Gersh and Hernandez families. We really enjoyed seeing everyone! Thank you Mom for all the wonderful food!

* Went to Michigan to spend time with Jim's family. Stayed with Karen, Rick and Owen - who is growing up so much. Thanks for being our home while we we in Michigan!

* Had another Christmas party with the Wenner clan and it was great to see all the cousins together - Allison, Kristin, Quinn, Casey, Cooper, Maya, Eli & Owen - they all had a great time playing together! Thank you Carolyn for putting together a great meal for so many people!

* A great night out with our friends who live in Michigan - Eppinks, Hutchisons, Walls, Morans & Leepers - it was great to get together and laugh. We feel lucky to have such great, lifelong friends!

* Watched the MSU game at Russ and Ruth's - thanks for the great food, the outcome of the game could have been better!!

* Had a 4 hour drive from Michigan to Chicago in perfect weather - almost unheard of to make that kind of time and not hit traffic.

* Stayed with Leslie, Jack and Noah - who is so cute. It was great to spend the time together!

* Allison and Kristin had a social weekend at Kelli and Bridget's houses - thank you Cherri for having them and basically letting them move in for a few days!

*Seeing the Casper's and how much Carson and Pierce have grown!

* A great night out with our soccer crowd - Quane's , Hoult's, McKernan's, Villanueva's - it was wonderful to see everyone.

*Kristin had fun seeing Clare and Lilly, her old soccer buddies

* Thank you to Paul, Tasha and Drake for having us stay at Chateau Fitzgibbons while we were in IL. It was great to spend the time catching up and to see the kids have so much fun!

* Target - what else is there to say!

* Pulling into a parking space forward - really it is a treat!

* Ate at Panera - twice!

* Seeing everyone from Lake Forest Hospital - I miss you all!

* Having lunch with Karen - great to see you and pick up like it was yesterday.

* Seeing the Paslaski Clan - thanks Judy for having us over!

* Meet the renters who live in our house, we feel fortunate to have great people living there who really love our home.

* Maureen and Erin it was fun to catch up on the neighborhood and good old GLSA!!

We really enjoyed our time in the US as it will always be home and we appreciate it more now than ever. We really do live in a great country!! Happy 2009!!

Krabi, Thailand - Day 3

Day 3 was a day of variety. We went out on a land tour which took us to three locations. The first being the Hot Springs, which if anyone has ever been to one, it always leaves you thinking how nature works. The pools of hot water at the top of the Springs were quite amazing and emptied into a large cool body of water. When we arrived we were the only tour group there (there were 6 of us total) and had a private bath of sorts. The water was so hot that you really did need to go and cool off!

We next ventured to the Emerald Pool located in a National Park in the jungle. The "pool" was quite warm and comfortable and the kids ( and Jim too!) dove off the dock and slid off the sides. It was quite fun!

The finale of the day was elephant trekking which was very enlightening. The elephants are trained starting at the age of 8. It is a very controversial practice as there is much concern as to how the elephants are treated. Our elephants appeared to be treated well by their trainers and were never hit but rather expected to respond to commands. However they did have the elephants chained by the ankle to a tree in between rides (we didn't actually witness that but you could see the tree and the chains). At night they presumably take the elephants into the hills and allow them more freedom although they are still captive but have a wider area in which to roam. The ride was slow and clunky ( I don't know how else to describe it). Kristin and I had a novice and he was slightly misbehaved!! He veered off the path to eat and headed towards the water - we thought at that point that the three of us were going for a swim!! Fortunately he only bent down to take a drink and didn't spray us!! He definitely made our adventure interesting! We had mixed feelings after riding the elephants as it was an experience to ride such a large animal but it left you a little disheartened that their captivity became their existence.

Christmas in Singapore

December has arrived and Singapore is ready for the holidays. The decorations started going up right after Halloween! Christianity is as relative new religion to Singapore and therefore a small percentage of the population celebrate Christmas. However, despite the fact that most Singaporeans are of other religions, they enjoy the decorations and the celebration of the holiday. Orchard Road, which is the equivalent of Michigan Avenue in Chicago or Madison Avenue in New York, is decked out for the holidays. It is a festival of lights like nothing you have ever seen before - no branch is untouched and no building without lights. Every mall has a tree, inside and out, full of lights and large decorations. Many of the decorations have signs posted saying "high voltage - do not touch" due to the vast number of lights attached and glowing. Some of the decorations are quite beautiful and others are just tacky. The theme this year was centered around candy so it looks much like candy land. It is a sight to see and everyday you notice something new. The blog pictures don't do it justice but it gives you the basic idea. So enjoy the walk down Orchard Road and Happy Holidays!!!

Krabi, Thailand Day 2

On Day 2 we headed into town to check out the shopping options. We took a speedboat from our hotel into the town of An Nong, which is the main town where the resort was located. Once reaching the town we hailed a "cab" a moped with an attachment where we could all sit. While there were cars, there were many of these cabs as a way to navigate through the town. There were shops upon shops of stuff - clothing, trinkets, candles, place mats. Once you walked into a store, they were immediately on you and ready to bargain. Bargaining is big in these places and is a game that you get progressively more efficient at the longer you do it. As our stay went on we would realize the poor deals we got and the good ones. You always leave thinking you could have done better and the shop owner always believes he gave away!

Realizing that shopping in town wasn't going to be a full day activity we looked into renting a private boat for the day to take us snorkeling. We weighed the options - long boat vs speed boat. The girls were very against the long boat option. Long boats are the taxi cabs of the water and operated by a single motor and steered with a long pole off the back of the boat. The inside is similar to a canoe. In the end we went on the speedboat and had a great driver who had lived in Phi Phi when the Tsunami hit and now lived on Krabi. One of the best parts of any boat outing was the fruit they cut up for you - fresh pineapple and watermelon. Very ripe and tender.

The girls continue to love snorkeling and we saw some amazing fish and sea urchins. The waters are so clear and the fish so abundant. We saw so many colorful fish - it was really a great day.

In the evening at the resort they had a woman there who did soap carvings in the shapes of flowers. The Thai people are so kind and she invited Kristin to sit down with her and teach her to carve the soaps. The soaps were carved in a variety of flowers and colors and then placed into a hand carved shell.

By the end the day, we were exhausted in the best way and fell asleep to the sound of the waves crashing on the shoreline.

Krabi day 1 -Phi Phi Island

The Phi Phi Island tour offered us a full range of things to see, snorkeling and lunch at a quaint restaurant. Phi Phi was all but destroyed in the Tsunami and has since been rebuilt and there are signs now posted about evacuation procedures should another Tsunami hit. It is part of the Marine National Park and boosts some of the best diving sites in all of Thailand. We set out on a speed boat with about 15 other people. The water was a deep green - blue and the island formations in the water were magnificent. We stopped to do some snorkeling, which was a first for Allison and Kristin. The waters were warm and crystal clear and the fish abundant. We then visited Maya Bay which was a beautiful swimming spot and the site was used for the filming of the movie "The Beach". Next came Monkey Bay, a deserted beach area full of monkeys. Everyone had food to give to the monkeys and they definitely knew it was for them. They were very willing to take the food and entertain the crowds. We ended up the morning at Phi Phi Island itself for lunch at a beach side restaurant. The food was delicious and there was always fresh pineapple served, which was sweeter than any we have ever tasted. It was then back into the clear waters for some swimming and snorkeling. We finished up our day pool/beach side watching a beautiful sunset. We all really enjoyed the sites, swimming and snorkeling so much that the girls were hooked and wanted to snorkel more on day 2!

Helpers

As of November 1, I am helperless and it feels wonderful. Helpers offer a lot with regards to housework but the trade off is the drama that comes with it. Our helper Zeny, came from the Philippines over 6 years ago. She has 4 children there whom she supports through her work, it is not an easy life. Most helpers want to work for "ex-pat" families because they tend to be good and easy going compared to the Chinese who are very hard and demanding of their helpers. Zeny came recommended to us and appeared to be hard working and efficient.


One thing that always bothered me about Zeny was her lack of a relationship with Allison and Kristin. It was not one she worked at or was interested in developing. It is not that she was unkind to them but it did not go any further than that level. She never found out their likes and dislikes, never made them their favorite snack or meal. Knowing this when other happenings occurred, pushed us to realize it was time to let her go. Zeny came to us with a very typical helper story back in Sept - my mother is sick and I need my pay early. I tried to verify the facts by asking her for the name and phone number of the hospital where her mother had her appendix out. My belief being that any village/town where Zeny grew up and her family lives, she would surely know the name of the hospital there - there can't be that many that do surgery. Zeny was unable to provide that information to me and knowing we were questioning it, still did not seek the information to clear herself. She was also full of excuses of why she couldn't call - her cell phone minutes were out ( I offered my phone to make the call) and that she was unable to get a hold of her daughter (her daughter who had her appendix out just 7 months earlier). In the same breath, she asked us for an additional $150 a month to pay for "her food". Helpers are paid monthly with food and housing provided by the employer as part of the package. Zeny never alluded to us that she had dietary restrictions and in fact was eating the food I was buying up until that point. She is a Muslim and said that she needed food that was appropriate for her religion. This was a surprise to us and certainly we were unprepared to fork over an additional $150 when she was making more than her peers and it was not something we were aware of when we hired her. She also wanted us to pay for computer classes which she would take on Sundays , her day off. All of this didn't add up for us and a few days later we told her we no longer would require her services and she had 30 days of employment with us and needed to find another job or be sent home. (that is how it works - get a new work pass or be sent home at the employers expense). It was a difficult month. When you know someone is leaving it makes everything they do more intolerable. She interviewed many places but was very particular about who she would work for and where their home was located. She had wanted to live close to the city so she could continue her social life (which should have happened only on Sundays - her day off) As the days winded down, we told her she had to be less picky and find a job. We even extended her stay until Nov 1 from Oct 22 to allow her more time, which many people told us was a generous and unnecessary thing to do. She took the liberty of going to her presumed cousins on 2-3 Saturday nights (helpers are to work 6 days a week with Sunday off per their contract) which at that point I was glad to not have her in the house. We also found out that she had a Malaysian boyfriend so who knows where she spent those Saturday nights. No one I know has ever let their helper have a Saturday off. She didn't ask, she told us that she was doing these outings. The more experienced they are, they bolder they get. We being inexperienced with having live in help were not strong enough in laying down the "rules" and were taken advantage of for being to nice.

The problem with helpers is that they lie, they say things and then a few days later it is a new story or the details have changed. We really wanted to believe her, trust her but it is not in their nature. Even when you are willing to be generous ,they want more. Zeny finally left on Nov 1. She had told me that day that she would be staying with a friend until her work permit came through, which originally we thought would be completed on Oct 31. A few days later Jim heard from her via SMS that she was outside our apartment, didn't know when her new job was starting and had nothing. Basically she wanted money as she had used her last $100 that I had given her 2 days before. It was never ending as to what she needed and the saga and tears that came with the stories.


Prior to her departure she sent a large box home to the Philippines for her family. As one week has gone by we have discovered some of the items she sent. As trivial as they are, they are still items that weren't hers but ours. Jim went to make coffee and went to the 270 cup container that I bought less than a month ago, to find it almost empty. The salt was missing. She went through enough laundry detergent that I had brought for 6-8 months in 3 months, now I think she hoarded it and sent it home. It is sad really that life is so desperate however what goes unlearned is that had she been honest and forth right, I would gladly bought her those things to send home. My story pales in comparison to two friends who just this past weekend are in the process of dismissing their helpers.


One believes that her helper left, after telling her that her father had passed and she needed to go to the Philippines to say goodbye, to have an abortion. Her plane flights didn't exist, she too packed a big box to be sent home and packed all her belongings. Helpers in Singapore are automatically sent home if they are pregnant. My friend found a receipt for a pregnancy test and her best guess is that she took the matter into her own hands. She awaits her arrival back tomorrow, if she shows, only to have to let her go on the basis of her leaving for an extended period of time, mistrust and possible pregnancy.


My other girlfriend had been marking her money for months and had misplaced two cell phones to the point that she never found them. She planted some money to see if her helper was taking it and indeed she was. She then went into her room with the helper present during the confrontation and looked under her mattress to find a box with the missing cell phone in it. The other cell phone had disappeared and was probably already out of the house and sold. Of course the helper denied knowing how it got there. Other valuables were found missing and they gave her the opportunity to fess up and they wouldn't call the police but rather dismiss her. She wouldn't comply and she is now in jail and under investigation for stealing money, cell phones and valuables worth about $6,000 that have presumably been pawned. Her fate remains to be seen.


What I find interesting about all this is that you have 3 families all looking for helpers who were willing to be generous. All willing to help if the stories were true. It simply not in their nature due to where they have come from. While we can not imagine the poverty and desperateness that these women face, I am not sure that any are better off with how they have handled their situations. In the end it leaves us all a little bitter and untrusting of any helper. The stories here are so common that they surprise no one here as either they have experienced it themselves or known someone who has. Many people I talked to have put their helper on a plane home for one reason or another (usually because they have stolen from them). The rule of thumb, if you can stand it, is that you generally go through 2-3 helpers before you find one that you keep. For me that is an exhausting task, one that I am not willing to partake.